Leaving a Legacy

Yesterday was MLK Day - it was also a day off of work for me.  So after I got done working for a few hours (isn't that how it sometimes goes?) - I started freaking out. 

Why? I had this day off and nothing to do.  You see, I am rarely satisfied with just sitting on the couch or taking a nap.  I feel like the world has so much to offer outside of my house and is spinning so quickly that if I don't move quickly, I will miss out.  And no one wants to miss out in today's world of over-connected, reading updates while talking to someone on blue-tooth while driving in rush hour traffic, right?

So I went to Fernbank - to see it's Ghensis Khan exhibit.  It was really well done.  I am sure I learned about the Mongol Empire in school, but sadly, I didn't retain it.

I (re)learned from this exhibit that the Mongol Empire was the largest empire in our recorded history - which is quite impressive to me - as I generally think of Alexander the Great's conquests or the expansion of the Roman Empire.

I learned that the Mongol expansion was known for its religious tolerance, development of the a postal and passport system, and that they were the first to make hamburgers (but they used horse not cow!) among other things. 

To walk around and see artifacts and effects from this empire that started back in the 12th Century - well, it took me a moment to absorb it all.  This man lived as a nomad with no permanent home base.  He had no modern way of communication or any modern conveniences or "necessities" as we see them, yet he ruled the largest empire in history.

This is a huge legacy to have created in his 65 years.  Dr. King lived less time than that yet made a huge impact on today's world also. 

I can pretty confidently say that I will not be making legacies that are even a breath of what these men did.  Maybe no one will know my name in 100 years.  I am okay with that.  But I do know one thing about my life - I want to live it to the fullest and make sure that I have a positive impact.

What will your legacy be?

My Practice, My Acceptance

I think we are still seeing all of the diets and workouts... for those of you in gyms, I hear we still have some New Year Resolutioners trying to stick with it.

Before I had my current job which requires travel, I kickboxed.  And I kickboxed a lot.  For nearly 2 years, I was crossing, upper cutting, side and forward kicking.  I was up and down and jumping and kicking.  I was faster and faster and then even faster.  I was in amazing shape.  Kickboxing was an amazing practice for reducing stress.

When I started traveling, I could not afford the expense of kickboxing and not being able to attend at least 4 classes a week.  So I stopped.  Over the past 2 years, I have tried traditional gyms, walking, running, Zumba, and at home DVDs (you can borrow anything from Tae Bo to the Brazilian Butt Lift, I have them all).

Nothing stuck.  I always felt like I was not getting a great workout because I was not pushing myself - or even worse - I just wasn't doing anything.  I didn't like anything that I found.

Then, I found Yoga.  I think I went onto my mat for the first time thinking, this will be easy.  It is basically sitting, breathing and holding some poses.  No problem, I used to kickbox.

Wrong. Very, very wrong.

As someone who has little balance, is out of shape, and has been leading a mostly sedentary life, my first yoga class rocked my world.  Sweat was pouring off of me like rain.  I felt like I was hit by a truck I was so sore the next day - and I never moved out of my 2'x6' mat!  There was no running or jumping jacks. 

Now, I am loving yoga at the moment because it is helping me gain my flexibility back (that is going to be long road) and it is helping me tone and strengthen my body.

But why is yoga working for me when nothing else did?  Yoga is more than toning the body - it is about working out your mind and it is about accepting whatever you may bring to your mat and practice that day.

Learning to accept me - what I can and cannot do, forgetting that the person next to me is not sweating and is doing something 3 levels more complex than me, letting go of what I cannot control in my life and at work, focusing on what is going on in my body and what is happening now... learning to accept and acknowledge all of this while making your body move and stay in poses is well, it is relaxing.

So when I fall out of a pose or can only do the beginner stage of a move - I don't get mad and quit.  I don't get frustrated and judge myself - and I don't feel judged by others.  Yoga is about me and my individual practice.

Now - sometimes this is harder than others.  I had a rough day earlier this week at work - it was crazy and I didn't want to go to yoga.  But I did.  I could tell I was not focused on my practice as I struggled through every pose, messed up flows.  Slowly, I forced myself to focus on the breathe of yoga.  Focusing on in and out, one with each move.  I stopped trying to keep up with the class.  I flowed to my own - and it was fine.  I let go - even if only for a moment.

And at the end of the session - I felt better - regardless of what comes and goes in our lives - the good times and bad - we have to keep moving forward.  We must continue to breathe - in and out. 

That is what I love about yoga.  I find something different in it every time I step onto the mat.  For me, in this part of my life - it is the exercise I need, physically and mentally.  No judging, just accepting what I have today, but pushing myself to make it the best that I can make it.  That is yoga.

A New Year Mix Up

Wow. It is 2013.  The holidays came and went. The New Year came and went.  I watched with bittersweetness as someone finally hauled off my Christmas tree yesterday. Now, it is diets and workout commercials. Everyone wants to lose weight that we gained last year, and the year before... and the year before.

Granted, I am definitely trying to eat better - but that is always a uphill battle.  And it always will be for me.

This year I will continue to work with my church's youth group - and we have planned out the first quarter for them over the past two weeks.  As I did this - it struck a cord with me... we always do the same thing the same way - and the kids are happy with this idea.  However, when we do something new, they love it and that becomes the new normal.

I feel like I am on the same ride now, on a repeat loop.  Why do we make the same resolutions every year?  Why do we do the same x y and z all the time?  Granted, the known is comfortable and usually easy.

As a child/teen/young adult - there was a striving to get better and push myself towards that next goal or milestone or to build up my resume or some new adult task (like buying a house!).  But once you are an adult - what is next?  Do we live from event to event, holiday to holiday, new years resolution to new years resolution? Do we look forward to the weekends when we don't have to do anything so we can sleep in?  Is this the "good life"?

I am content, which is perfectly acceptable (I guess).  How do we find new ways to push ourselves to be better than we were next year?  What real resolutions should we be making - or more importantly - should we be keeping?

Now, I am not sure of what I will do to make 2013 different.  I want to find a way to mix it up this year and push myself to be better.  I was to challenge myself and ensure that I make real goals that help me grow as a person.  Honestly, I think this may be more of a challenge than losing weight - maybe they are linked.

What are you doing this year?  How are you mixing it up for 2013?

Fear of Vacuuming

As a child - I was scared to vacuum.  I was scared that I would go over something that I shouldn't and the vacuum would blow up.  I was so motivated NOT to vacuum, I would try to trade chores with my brother to get out of my vacuuming duties.

As an adult, I do not have that fear - you suck up enough strings, bobby pins and other oops items and you get over the fear. Don't get me wrong - I still don't love it - hauling out the vacuum, unwrapping the cord, dancing around trying to get everything, wrapping the cord back up and putting it away. And for me - I don't have room where the vacuum fits anywhere - except the attic.  So it takes me longer getting ready and putting away than it took me to vacuum.

I have two cats that never stop shedding - so ideally, I would vacuum and sweep at least every other day.  (I mean I do hate a dirty house more than the hassle of vacuuming).  Or even worse, when I travel for work and am gone longer periods - I come home to tumble weeds of hair.  Coming home to a dirty house is horrible.

So I made a big purchase.  I bought an iRobot - which is a robotic vacuum.  This purchase has been a game changer in my house.  I can clean other stuff, watch TV, cook, or even leave to run errands or go to work - all while my little robot is busy sweeping and vacuuming my entire house! Rocked my world!

The first time that I ran this - I had to empty the bin 3 times (gross - and this was with me sweeping and vacuuming 2 days before!).  I now can just dump the bin once it is done - running it every 2 or so days.  I still can't believe how much stuff this thing finds every time.  Granted, it goes under tables, beds, couches - things I normally didn't hit with the broom or vacuum. 

My house just feels cleaner.  Now you still have some effort in this cleaning - dumping the bin and cleaning the brushes - but it is minimal compared to my old routine.  Is it perfect - no.  Is it better than my old methods - yes.

Now if I can just teach my cats to ride around on it... 

A Pause in the Happiest Time of Year

I consider myself a very positive and happy person - mainly because, I guess - I am happy.  I love my life.  I have wonderful friends, an amazing boyfriend, a job and career I love, and the best family that I could ever dream of. 

This year, I have started working with my hometowns youth group.  It has been beyond frustrating at times, but for the most part, beyond rewarding.  On top of working with the youth group - I have reconnected with friends from old - through the church's "Young Adult Ministries" group - although I am not sure how "young" I consider myself anymore - but I am okay with that.

All in all, it has been a wonderful year that has flown by too quickly.  I was driving into work today thinking about and running through my holidays lists... the few gifts I still need to get, the groceries I need to buy to make that mac'n'cheese dish for the holiday party tomorrow, and on and on.

But then I paused.  I thought of Pete.  Pete was my grandmother's boyfriend who pasted a few years ago.  I thought of how much I missed him and how, even though he was never "family" marriage - he was a grandfather to me for over ten years.  This naturally led me into remembering my Pop and Meme - I am getting choked up just trying to write about them now...

...

Christmas is suppose to be the happiest (and probably busiest) season of the year.  However, it is hard not to think back to everyone who can't be here with us during this wonderful time and feel a little sad because they are not here to spend it with us.  I try not to linger long on these sad thoughts - I know they would not want me to shed any tears over them.

At this stage in life, everyone has been touched by loss or some unhappy event in their life.  So, I wish for you this holiday season happiness and hope - and a peace within when you do pause to remember.

My Non-Politicial Political Rant

If you know me or notice my few postings on Facebook - you will have noticed that I do not make any political comments, whatsoever.  I do not post or claim any affiliation with any group.

Growing up, I went through a phase when I wanted to be the first female president of the United States.  I have gone from wanting to run for president to someone who refuses to vote for president.  Yes, I will NOT be voting on Tuesday. 

When people ask me who I will be voting for they are shocked to hear my response - my vote is not voting.  I have many reason for this stance - but it is thought out and carefully decided.  I don't take voting lightly - and I think many people do.

While I am proud to live in a country where (essentially) everyone can vote, I am very jaded when it comes to the process, the outcome and most importantly how we vote.

One of the main reasons I do not vote is because I do not feel informed enough to make a sound and educated decision for whom to vote.  I refuse to vote based on any political ad campaign or Facebook postings (or because my parents raised me one way so I will always vote for that party) - as I have often found them to be based on little fact and mostly spin.  I consider myself a well-educated person - so I could educate myself on the topic - but I have decided against it.

As I just put up my antenna to get my free digital television this week (previously only having Netflix and Hulu), I saw my first political commercials this morning.  I was blown away.  Do people actually base their decisions on these commercials?  Are they swayed by the mud throwing?  My biggest fear is that people do - they don't research and check the facts (which are much harder to verify than it should be).  They vote based on commercials and hearsay. 

And to think that the leadership of our country can be swayed by a vote based on an excellent PR campaign... does it not scare you?

I have a Masters in Economics.  It is enough education to let me know that I don't know anything about economics and that I was not smart enough to go on to get a PhD in it.  So to hear people talk about how to "fix" the economy like they actually have a solution that would "fix" it blows my mind.  Most people have never even had a basic course in MacroEconomics. 

An economy is closer to a living breathing organism than a machine.  The economy is not a car that as been in a crash that we can take to get fixed at a body shop this month.  The economy is like a morbidly obese American - we have been abusing our body for years and thinking that if we lay off sodas and walk for 10 minutes a day for 4 years that we are going to be in Olympic condition.  We can make changes now that will show improvement - but it has to be a lifelong commitment to health. 

If we support a system that calls for our leaders to always keep an eye on 4 years down the road so they can get re-elected - are we going to see that commitment to long-term health?  I would argue probably not.  We are going to see crash diets and fads that end up with us yo-yoing in health.  Please do not see this as an argument for longer terms - it is not.

I am just ready for someone to stand up and say, yeah, I am not going to be popular - but I am going to get us back on track.  So what if you don't get elected again - isn't public service more about doing what is best for the public anyway even if it means losing your job after one term?

I am not sure how that person would be elected.  They would have unpopular policies that I am assuming the majority would not like for their immediate happiness - so they would probably not get the support from one of the Major Two.

So if you took anything away from this - it is to please educate yourself with verified facts before making your mark on Tuesday.

Okay - I think I have reached my maximum for political discussion for the month, maybe year.

Happy Voting (or Not Voting)!

Honestly Fat.

America is Fat.  And getting fatter.  Sadly, I am no exception.

As a child, I grew fast.  By my early teenage years, I reached my adult height of 6 feet.  When you are growing that fast, you can't keep weight on - but you are eating house and home.  I am not sure how I turned into a picky eater - but I definitely had a limited color palate for food.  If it wasn't in the white/yellow realm, I probably wasn't going to eat it (read, I loved starches, and not so much the vegetables).

As my father so kindly pointed out, "Once you stop growing up, you start growing out!"  And out I did.  My own family called me Two Tons of Fun.  I was obese by no means, and I slowly leaned out as I didn't have to eat to keep up with growth spurts.  As a high schooler, I ate like a teenager - fast foods, sodas, junk food, heavily processed foods.  Still limited to a small food palate.

Now something special happened in college.  Add alcohol to buffet style unlimited eating for every meal - you have a recipe for weight gain.  I put on the Freshman 40 (or so I said).  I maxed out at about 199 pounds.  Yes, I just admitted my weight publicly.

There is this magical point were you realize you have to change something.  It has to be  met by a desire and determination to change.  I found it with the help of my family the summer after my freshman year of college.  I don't remember the details of how I got to that point and mindset, but I just remember thinking that I was fat and hating it.

So I started paying attention to what I was eating for the first time in my life.  I learned how to eat salads with broccoli and less cheese/dressings and more vegetables (don't get too excited, I am still a picky eater).  I drank less and cut out the sugary mixed drinks.  I started working out, mainly cardio for about an hour a day, 5 times a week.

My eating wasn't great but my workout dedication was.  In less than year, I was in better shape and health than when I entered college.  I dropped down to around 165 lbs.  Life was good.

I kept most of the weight off.  I found kickboxing as my main source of cardio - and once again I couldn't eat enough!  It was like being a kid again.  As with life, things changed again.  I changed jobs and thereby changed lifestyles.

Traveling 100% for my job left me living out of hotels and on 3 restaurant meals a day.  I would come home on the weekends, not to go to the grocery store or cook, but to eat out more.  An uncertain schedule on the road left me kept me from workingout - in reality only I kept myself from working out.

So, I watched the weight go back up.  I remember last Lent seeing someone post on Facebook a comment that Lent was not about dieting or losing weight - and it dawned on me - people so often just need a good 30 or so days of removing bad habits to get them back on track.

Back in June, I decided that I had had enough with gaining weight again.  I took a "Lent" approach and decided to try to give up "bad stuff" one month at a time.  You can do anything for a month, right?  I only had to do it for a month, and then when I allow it back into my diet, hopefully I won't be craving it, but rather have it in limited quantities.

Here is what I have tried out so far:

June - Nothing fried - this was hard - but it made me realize how much stuff was fried.  Chips - I wouldn't even go out to eat Mexican because I couldn't resist the chips/salsa!

July - No sodas - I found that I switched to drinking more sweet tea - so this month was a wash for me.  I probably need to do it again only without sweetened drinks.

August - No meat - I actually am sticking with a vegetarian diet - I loved this and found that I ate healthier, less fried, and virtually no fast food when I do this.  I like the taste and the options for vegetarians.  I found it to be cheaper (with the higher costs of meat) and that I get more protein as I am conscious of what I am eating.

September - No alcohol - I hated this month.  I enjoy my glass of wine with dinner or with a group of friends.  I found that I substituted desserts or snacks for a glass of wine.  The good news - well, bad news for my gas bill, I was able to be the DD for all of our events this month.

Next month - I am thinking about requiring myself to drink at least 8 glasses of water a day.  Who knows - I just try to think of what I should be doing, but not a great job of doing and that is my goal.

So while I am not my college weight and I will never be a size 2 - I am exercising more and eating healthier.  I will never be the girl that doesn't eat cake or survives on rabbit food (salads only).  I am going to enjoy chocolate and good wine. 

What I have realized through all of this... weight management and health is a life long process - I don't think that you can "diet" and reach an end goal.  My 30 day challenges make me stronger and help me focus on my health - it really takes will power.  Life is about balance and learning about yourself - and being happy with it!