I think I saw that on Shark Week once...

A short break from home related adventures - to my Peru adventures!

When I first read the proposed agenda for my recent Peru trip, the last day of activities included "Swimming with the Seals". 

My first thoughts - umm, I don't think so.  I have seen Shark Week before, and as we all know, seals are a shark's favorite food.  So, in no way am I planning on joining the seals as a swimming buffet for sharks.  (As much as I would love to have my own TV show- making a guest appearance on Shark Week - as the meal - is NOT one of them.)

So then I re-read the agenda as we finalize it and realize that it is "Swimming with the SEA LIONS" - which I don't remember any guest appearances by them on Shark Week - so we are good.

Fast forward.  Peru - last scheduled day on our agenda.  I have pictured a Disney or Cancun like bay area where, in a controlled environment, where I would be in the same area as A (read 1, one) sea lion.

Below is what I see 2 hours into our boat ride:

Yup - that is right - an island with 8,000 sea lions!  I don't know how to begin to describe everything - but one predominate feeling - fear over the temperature of the water.  For those of you that failed geography - Peru is bordered by the Pacific Ocean - and in September, they are just coming out of winter.  I asked one of the shipmates the temperature of the water - "oh, not freezing, maybe 16-18 degrees".

Oh, not freezing - great.  But, how often are you in Peru by an island of 8,000 sea lions?  So we squeeze into wet suits.  (For anyone who has not had the pleasure of visiting Peru - I look like a giant compared to them.  I specifically ask for "grande" size wet suit - they laughed and gave me an XL.)

The water will knock the breathe out of you.  Once I went numb - or into shock - not sure what happened - I slowly swam out to the sea lions.  They were wild - and swam away if you made quick movements.  The "life guard" (I am unsure of what qualified this guy for the title) - had me float and then pushed me into the masses of sea lions.

This encounter is probably the most incredible thing I have ever done.  As I floated there - they stared back at me - barking, nudging my feet, swimming under me - jumping right by me.... it was amazing and overwhelming. 

This was my favorite adventure in Peru - maybe of my life... well, at least top 10!

The Lockout

I absolutely love my job - what I do, the culture, co-workers, everything - especially the fact that I work from home on Fridays.  I actually find that I am quite productive in my work and can usually squeeze in a few chores in between meetings/tasks.

Rewind to a few Friday's ago.  It is Friday morning.  I have about 20 minutes before my next call.  My goal is to prep for the day - which includes removing any distractions from my immediate work area.  Today the only thing that needs to be cleaned up are my breakfast dishes and my new blower.  I took the dishes to the kitchen and then take the blower to the back porch. 

I set the blower down and turn to go back in the house.  I open the door - expect that it doesn't open.  My back door, in addition to a deadbolt, has a self-locking door knob.  Great.  I try again just to make sure I am not having a blonde moment.  Yup, I am officially locked out of my house.

Now, as I was just planning on dropping off the blower and going inside - I don't have my phone, purse, keys of any sort.  So I quickly run the options... bedroom window - locked; fencedoor so I can go to the front door (even though I know the front door is locked) - oh wait - that is right - I have padlocked my fence so people can't get into my backyard.  So I am locked out of my house, locked into my backyard.

Quite embarrassing.  I can't call anyone as I don't have my phone.  What good would it do anyway - no one has keys.  So then I start to think about what window I want to break to get into my house and wondering how soon Mr. Tommy would be able to fix it for me...

I look over into my neighbor's yard and he returning from an errand.  I say good good morning and ask if he still has the spare key to my house.  He is unsure - but will check.

We will just fast forward to me getting out of the locked fenced backyard and around to the front of my house.  He comes over - and praise God - he has a spare key.  Another blessing - unlike some people who work from home - I actually change into real clothes to work instead of working in my PJs.

So I get back into my house without any broken windows or doors and some minor embarrassment in time for my next call.  Needless to say - the self-locking door has to go - deadbolts, traditional locks, and a good alarm will do for me.

Toliet Humor

Okay, so I am not really a homemaker - I report to a job on a regular enough basis to get a paycheck to semi-afford my house that I am trying to make my home.  And maybe I just have (mis)adventures throughout my life and not just related to my homeownership.

Currently, I am a project manager deploying a great program a ABC Corp*.  My client's project manager, Katy, is amazing to work with - we get a ton of work done, but we also have fun.  We are going live next week, so things are a bit tense (this is me playing down the true stress of the situation).

Katy has been on the verge of a mental break this week as she is a project team of one.  Her hair is disheveled by early afternoon.  She is living on diet cokes and 5 hour energies (I am worried at this point).  I don't even recall what she came into my office for - but as she turned to walk away, something caught my eye.

I call her back in and ask her to spin around.  Her eyes pop open wide and she twirls.  Yes, she had toilet paper tail hanging out of her pants - just barely visible from underneath her jacket, but definitely there.  I tug at it and one sheet rips off and I return it to her.

This situation could now go one of two ways - total melt down or a hilarious outburst.  Katy opted for hysterical laugher - which is good for me as melt downs are never good on a project.  Well, I think the laugher ended in tears, but it was a nice break from the stress.

Hours later, as I am getting ready to leave - I am trying to make Katy go home as she has been working too much.  As an economist, I employ the law of diminishing marginal return to my work life - and my teams work life.  After a certain point, your productive starts to drop - regardless of the effort you put in.

As I am encouraging her to go home and let us start fresh tomorrow, I remind her that she hasn't had any breaks and has been working nearly 12 hours now.  I causally ask if she has even taken any restroom breaks today.  She quickly responds -- oh at least 2.  My calm reply - "I have only seen evidence of 1."

Unfortunately, she was drinking water during my reply - which triggered another bout of laughter, spraying her water out of her nose.  Perfect ending for her day.

I am going to get her a roll of nice toilet paper as a Go Live gift.

*Names have been changed.

Death of a Snake

Yup - that is right -the ever so fierce snake just didn't cut it in my backyard.  While I almost had another heart attack in finding the snake - I was very pleased to find him dead.  Some other animal - I am going to go with bird or squirrel - bit the snake's head off - thank you friendly, non-slithery backyard friends.

Now I just hope that he didn't have a family...

Privacy Please!

I have 2 lovely bathrooms in my new house, each with awesome windows to let in natural light.  I also have 2 great neighbors on each side of my house, each about 10 feet from my house (welcome to city living!).  Needless to say, as lovely as the 2 windows are and close as I am to my neighbors, I am not close enough to want them to see me showering or doing any other bathroom activities from my lovely bathroom windows.

Curtains are expensive.  Okay, home-ownership is expensive in general.  So curtain cost, in addition the fact that I still don't know how I want to decorate the bathrooms, but needed to get some privacy asap, led to me looking for alternative options for the windows.

If I haven't mentioned it before, my parents are wonderful (and pretty smart).  My mom recently has gotten into home related DIY projects and mentioned that I should look into window film for them instead of curtains.  You get to a certain age and you learn that your parents are probably right about most stuff - so I make another trip to Lowe's to check it out . (FYI - if you decide to do this yourself - window film is with the blinds.)

I liked what I saw, so $30 later I head home with my window film and an application kit (you obviously can't apply it without the kit - of course.) 

So Saturday morning, I get up early and start following instructions.  I get to the point when you need to "trim" the excess around the edges - and of course, the knife in the kit may as well be a spoon.  So I make my daily run to Lowe's and get a big girl blade!

The windows turned out great - see the before and after below.

So as a cheap fix - I was able to cover 2 windows (one not shown) for $30 and they look even better in person!  Now I still have my lovely windows that let in light and great neighbors - who now cannot see me shower!

Snake Pit

Day 1
I just finished signing away my life.  I am now officially a debtor - I mean homeowner... So because I was not blessed with patience and have been struggling to develop it, as soon as I had those keys in my hot little hands, I had to move in (that and my apartment lease was up the next day).

     So, I start moving stuff in.  The air was not on - but I was okay with not paying for it since my doors were mainly open during this process.  I stay at my old place that night as the movers were coming the next day and as excited as I was to be in my own house, I was not thrilled about sleeping on the floor.

Day 2
Still no air, but didn't really think about it - still moving, doors still always open.  I had an obligation out of town that night so I didn't think about it more (plus Dad was coming up the next day and I decided reserve that for him).

Day 3
It is approximately 86 degrees in my house.  While I don't require an icebox for a house, I do prefer to keep it at 77 in the summer.  Anything over 81 degrees is a bit much even for me.  So, as a proud new homeowner, I decide to look into the situation.  The display is out.  Change batteries - display is working - and I am feeling proud of myself.  See that wasn't so hard. 

Only the air still doesn't cut on.  Breaker - maybe it is off - (again very proud that I think of this).  Check it - not the issue.  Still no air.  Dad comes and he doesn't have any answers.  Great.  As soon as I walk into the house some major aspect isn't working.  Typical.

Day 4
Talk to my realtor and inspector and am told that it could be that the main switch for the HVAC is flipped off under the house - simple and free fix - just crawl under the house and flip it back on.
I am hot and desperate at this point.  I put on my big girl panties, grab a flash light and go to the crawl space.
Exhibit A (below): My crawlspace.

So, I open the crawlspace door and a snake jumps out at me.  Naturally, I scream at the top of my lungs and about jump over my fence.  Now to answer your questions: Yes, it was a snake.  It exited the crawlspace and went around my house. No, I do not know what kind, other than very much alive and active.

I walked away at this point.  There was no way that I was crawling into the snake den.  I go back inside and realize that it is hotter in my house than it is outside.  I took a moment, grabbed a shovel (like I could really try to over after the snake to kill it) and went back to the snake pit.

Yup, I did it.  I actually crawled under my house.  I found the switch and cut it back on.  The air cut back on and I didn't see any (more) snakes.  For those of you who know me well, I did not have a heart attack or need to change out my big girl panties.  Call it brave or stupid - but I did it.  I am a homeowner - hear me roar (and sometimes scream)!